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‘Daddy Showers’ are a thing, according to this press release, which is probably a lie

Posted by on 4:33 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

For a pursuit that brings such singular joy, parenting is filled with strange and terrible things, such as dadblogging, putting leashes on children, this Captain Underpants movie I’m going to have to f**king rent at some point and 98% of what parents do on social media. Yet because it’s filled with strange and terrible things it’s primed for people selling stranger and more terrible things, which brings us to the idea of the “Daddy Shower” which I learned of via a press release written as though to sound like Brooklyn, Paris and Dubai have been secretly hosting underground Diddy-hosted Daddy Showers for years and the rest of us are just now like, guys, you gotta get in on this.

“Baby showers aren’t just for moms anymore!” the press release shrieked, and I thought, “FINALLY! Sure, it’s nice that guys earn more, avoid actual childbirth and pretend phrases like ‘Strategic Content Financial Control Analyst’ have any meaning at all, but why should only Ladies get to sit around lavishly decorated rooms and open presents for hours? INEQUALITY!” And then I pounded my table importantly and sipped Scotch and harrumphed. Lot of harrumphing. In British.

Anyway, the concept of the Daddy Shower, which is something you’re going to want to be real mindful about Googling, is also known as a “Dadchelor Party,” because since the internet began we just all gracelessly smush together words now. You could basically kill an afternoon moderating a televised roundtable about why these are dumb, but let’s just go down this actual list of suggested indignities that might occur at Dadchelor Parties:

• Have everyone bring a case of diapers. Because if there’s anything you want half-assedly supplied by 12 different people who don’t know what they’re doing, it’s diapers. On the plus side, this is better than asking them to bring formula. Or cupcakes.

• Make the new dad assemble a crib or swing. It’s all the excitement of furniture assembly, only it takes place during something that’s supposed to be fun! Also if there’s anything you want to do while drinking with your idiot friends, it’s assemble a complicated device responsible for safely holding your infant.

• Hold bottle-drinking contests! Except grown men can’t really drink out of baby bottles, for obvious reasons, so you have to use the bottles for toddlers instead of for babies and probably have to cut a hole to get any liquid out and beer tastes awful out of bottles you know what maybe just drink out of cups.

• Make the dad-to-be eat a jar of baby food, which, to be fair, is extremely nutritious, and honestly if it’s applesauce this isn’t even a punishment.

• Make the dad-to-be wear an adult disposable diaper! Listen, at some point in the reasonably near future this man will probably be called upon to change a diaper in a Citgo bathroom, stand in public baby pools that are 65% human urine and go see the Captain Underpants movie, so let them man keep his damn dignity for a few more weeks.

One could argue that a baby shower full of bruhs is a way to keep the fathers involve in the baby-prep process, which is a fine and welcome thing that is achievable in any number of ways that don’t involve grown men suckling pacifiers, also suggested, I left that one out. Happily, this problem is easily solved: Guys who want dadchelor parties can organize whatever they want, but instead of at your house, we’ll have it at the bar, and instead of giving presents, we’ll give you nothing, and instead of games involving baby food and man-diapers we’ll watch car races, and if anyone suggests being a grown man wearing a pacifier, we’ll attach a leash to him and leave.


Press Release: The Conference Board Leading Economic Index(R) (LEI) for Germany Increased

Posted by on 4:33 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

The Conference Board Leading Economic Index(R) (LEI) for Germany Increased

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PR Newswire

NEW YORK, June 16, 2017

NEW YORK, June 16, 2017 /PRNewswire/ — The Conference Board Leading Economic Index(R) (LEI) for Germany increased 0.4 percent in April 2017 to 109.8 (2010=100).

The Conference Board Coincident Economic Index(R) (CEI) for Germany decreased 0.1 percent in April 2017 to 108.0 (2010=100).

The composite economic indexes are the key elements in an analytic system designed to signal peaks and troughs in the business cycle. The leading and coincident economic indexes are essentially composite averages of several individual leading or coincident indicators. They are constructed to summarize and reveal common turning point patterns in economic data in a clearer and more convincing manner than any individual component — primarily because they smooth out some of the volatility of individual components.

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The updated data tables can be found here.

The 2017 data release schedule is available here.

For more information about The Conference Board global business cycle indicators, click here.


The Conference Board is a global, independent business membership and research association working in the public interest. Our mission is unique: To provide the world’s leading organizations with the practical knowledge they need to improve their performance and better serve society. Winner of the Consensus Economics 2016 Forecast Accuracy Award (U.S.), The Conference Board is a non-advocacy, not-for-profit entity holding 501 (c) (3) tax-exempt status in the United States. www.conference-board.org

To view the original version on PR Newswire, visit:http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/the-conference-board-leading-economic-index-lei-for-germany-increased-300475240.html

SOURCE The Conference Board

/CONTACT: Carol Courter (212) 339-0232 / courter@conference-board.org; Jonathan Liu (212) 339-0257 / jonathan.liu@conference-board.org

/Web site: http://www.conference-board.org

(END) Dow Jones Newswires

June 16, 2017 09:45 ET (13:45 GMT)

OF ALL THINGS: Memories of the traditional news release

Posted by on 3:52 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

While throwing away some very old papers, I came upon a bunch of news releases and wondered about how such things are handled in these days of Twitter and email and websites and other voodooish electronic mysteries. When I started in the word-manipulating industry, back in the Truman Administration, news releases were always on paper.

They were documents of information that a person or organization wanted to be published. They were usually created by public relations writers in companies or ad agencies.

In varied periods of my erratic career, I have read, written, rewritten, edited and/or thrown away thousands of them. Many contained valuable information. Many others were mediocre attempts to get publicity.

In the Evening Bulletin newsroom in the mid-20th century, an editor would occasionally toss a news release on a writer’s desk and say something like, “Give me a 12-head on this.”

The document would be on the letterhead of an advertising agency. It would have been duplicated by something like a Mimeograph, Ditto printer or Hectograph. (If you don’t know what they were, don’t worry. It’s all right to be young.) The Xerox was still only a gleam in Chester Carlson’s eye.

At the top, the paper would say “For Immediate Release.” There would follow an announcement that the Ajax Bifurcated Ferrule Co. of Manayunk was sponsoring the annual Greater Manayunk Accordion and Piccolo Symphonette concert on Saturday. In about 1,000 carefully crafted words, it would give the time and place of the event, information about the participants, details of the music to be played and of the refreshments to be dispensed and an enlightening history of the accordion.

And a 12-head, in Bulletin typographical lingo, meant that the writer should condense the publicity masterpiece to one paragraph.

The Bulletin, and I suppose most big newspapers, rarely ran a news release as written, no matter how usable.

It always amazed me that big corporations, when they had something to say that was actually news, would send a release that required calling them to clarify something or get a vital fact that was left out.

Most advertising and public relations agencies had writers who produced usable material. I often felt bad when a nicely crafted article by a writer who knew his trade was given to me to redo.

I often thought, when required to rewrite a well-done release, that PR writers should always do the release the second best way, so it could be rewritten the best way for publication.

And it was always fun to brighten up a dull one. Once about 60 years ago, an editor gave me a release from the telephone company, announcing that the new phone directories were about to be delivered, and asked, “What can you do with this?” I did some thinking and some research and got an idea.

(I’ve lost the original, but recreated this slightly abbreviated 1977 directory version for a writing class I was teaching.)

“What has 19 wings and only seven feathers, 12 heads and 39 hands, is 11 inches high, and is coming to your house next week?

“The answer: the Bell of Pennsylvania 1977 White Pages Telephone Directory.

“The 19 Wings, from Beth Wing to Woo Wing, will be found on page 977. The Feathers are on page 279, the Heads on 393 and the Hands on 380.”

It made the front page.

Visit columnist Jim Smart’s website at jamessmartsphiladelphia.com.

The Press Release for Jordan Kahn’s New Restaurant Is a Masterpiece

Posted by on 3:52 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

Jordan Kahn — the LA chef known for his genre-bending work at long-closed Red Medicine and for his very serious, very Instagrammable breakfast bowls at the newish Destroyer — is opening a tasting-menu restaurant in July. So far, he has told GQ that the building is basically from outer space (complete with its own gravity) and the restaurant’s early website copy described “blurring interrelationships between materials and ideas, environment and context, of sound and dissonance.” Cool, got it.

Today, members of the press received the following release:

Vespertine, from Chef/Creator Jordan Kahn and located in the Hayden Tract district of Culver City, CA, is a gastronomical experiment seeking to disrupt the course of the modern restaurant. It is a place of cognitive dissonance that defies categorization, exploring a dimension of cuisine that is neither rooted in tradition nor culture — it is from a time that is yet to be, and a place that does not exist. It is a spirit that exists between worlds. A place of shadows and whispers.

The project was conceived as a result of the structure in which it resides. Designed by world-renowned architect Eric Owen Moss, Vespertine is a 2-story structure, separated into 4 levels of which there are no traditional walls supporting the building. Instead the building is wrapped by an architectural skin — a curtain of undulating steel and glass. The intimate, 22-seat dining room sets the stage for an enigmatic dining experience, comprised of a succession of 18+ courses.

Here are some photos:

And here’s a trailer for good measure:

The place of shadows and whispers opens July 6, and tickets are on sale now via Tock.

Vespertine [Official site]
Jordan Kahn’s Vespertine Officially Reveals Itself to the Wide-Eyed Masses on July 6 [ELA]
Jordan Kahn Says Vespertine, A Restaurant, Is Actually a Spaceship With ‘Its Own Gravity’ [ELA]

Lineup Notes: USA Takes on Mexico at Estadio Azteca in World Cup Qualifying

Posted by on 2:38 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

Mexico vs. USA
2018 FIFA World Cup Qualifying
June 11, 2017
Estadio Azteca; Mexico City, Mexico
Live Broadcast: 8:30 p.m. ET on FS1, Univision and UDN (Pre-game coverage at 7:30 p.m. ET)

Today’s U.S. MNT Starting XI vs. Mexico: 2-DeAndre Yedlin, 3-Omar Gonzalez, 4-Michael Bradley (capt.), 7-DaMarcus Beasley, 9-Bobby Wood, 10-Christian Pulisic, 11-Paul Arriola, 12-Brad Guzan, 14-Tim Ream, 16-Kellyn Acosta, 20-Geoff Cameron

Substitutes: 1-Tim Howard, 22-Nick Rimando, 5-Matt Besler, 6-John Brooks, 8-Clint Dempsey, 13-Dax McCarty, 15-Darlington Nagbe, 17-Jozy Altidore, 18-Jordan Morris, 19-Graham Zusi, 21-Matt Hedges, 23-Fabian Johnson

  • U.S. MNT head coach Bruce Arena has made seven changes to the lineup that faced Trinidad Tobago with Michael Bradley, Geoff Cameron, Christian Pulisic and DeAndre Yedlin as the only holdovers.
  • With the start, DaMarcus Beasley earns his 34th World Cup Qualifying appearance and becomes the first U.S. player to appear in qualifiers for five different FIFA World Cups. The Fort Wayne, Ind., product earned his first WCQ appearance in the final game of qualifying for the 2002 FIFA World Cup (Nov. 11, 2001 at Trinidad Tobago).
  • Beasley’s 34 World Cup Qualifying appearances broken down by cycle: 2002 (1), 2006 (13), 2010 (12), 2014 (7), 2018 (1). 
  • Seven players in the starting XI have previously played at Estadio Azteca for either the U.S. MNT, youth national teams or in club play: Paul Arriola, DaMarcus Beasley, Michael Bradley, Geoff Cameron, Omar Gonzalez, Brad Guzan and Christian Pulisic.
  • Beasley, Bradley, Cameron, Gonzalez and Guzan all appeared in the USA’s last visit to Azteca, earning points here for only the second time in World Cup Qualifying history with a 0-0 draw on March 26, 2013.
  • Arriola has made multiple visits to Azteca with Club Tijuana, as has Gonzalez, most recently coming in Pachuca’s 3-2 Liga MX win against Club América on May 6.
  • Pulisic played at Estadio Azteca with the U.S. U-15 Boys National Team during the 2013 Copa Mexico de Naciones.  
  • Pulisic leads all of CONCACAF with five assists during 2018 FIFA World Cup Qualifying, and has tallied four goals and three assists in his last four international matches.
  • Jozy Altidore, Alejandro Bedoya, Matt Besler, Bradley, John Brooks and Cameron are all on caution watch. Their next yellow card will result in a one-match suspension in World Cup Qualifying.
  • Starting XI World Cup Qualifying appearances (including this match): Bradley (35), Beasley (34), Cameron (22), Gonzalez (15), Guzan (14), Wood (10), Pulisic (9), Yedlin (8), Ream (5), Acosta (4), Arriola (3).
  • Four players have previously scored against El Trí: Bradley (4), Wood (2), Beasley and Cameron
  • Six players took part in the USA’s most recent meeting with Mexico on Nov. 11, 2016: Bradley, Gonzalez, Guzan, Pulisic, Wood and Yedlin.
  • Acosta, Arriola and Ream all earn their first caps against Mexico.
  • Arriola also earns his first World Cup Qualifying start.
  • The U.S. Men’s National Team is 18-34-14 all-time against Mexico and 6-17-6 vs. El Trí in World Cup Qualifying.
  • The MNT has a 1-8-2 record in 11 all-time visits to Estadio Azteca and is 0-5-2 in seven World Cup Qualifiers at the historic stadium.
  • The U.S. earned its first result not only at Azteca, but in all of Mexico when it played El Trí to a 0-0 draw on Nov. 2, 1997. The United States reproduced that result with another scoreless deadlock in the team’s last visit on March 26, 2013.
  • The U.S. used a late goal from Michael Orozco to earn a 1-0 friendly win on Aug. 15, 2012 – the team’s first away win in Mexico.
  • During his initial tenure as U.S. MNT head coach, Bruce Arena played a big role in the USA turning the tide against Mexico. Arena of course led the USA to the biggest win in the series with the 2-0 Round of 16 victory at the 2002 FIFA World Cup and has a 7-4-1 all-time record against El Trí, going 2-2-0 in World Cup Qualifying.

Moby Releases New Album Via Fake Trump Press Release: Listen

Posted by on 12:09 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

Moby has released a new album. More Fast Songs About the Apocalypse is the producer’s second full-length with the Void Pacific Choir; the first, These Systems Are Failing, was released last fall. Moby announced his new album via a mysterious press release “from the desk of John Miller,” seemingly written from the perspective of the fictional spokesperson that Donald Trump invented to speak with reporters over the telephone back in the 1980s. “the first album they released is very noisy…as is this second album, just see the title, pretty clear.  but it’s like they hate america and think it’s NOT GREAT AGAIN,” it reads. “so, don’t listen to this as i won’t be listening, even though they are giving it away for free! idiots!” Download the new album here and check out the press release here. Moby was reportedly asked by the Trump administration to DJ the president’s inauguration, an offer that he declined.

Press release: General Electric announces John Flannery will succeed Jeff Immelt

Posted by on 12:09 pm in Press Release | 0 comments

The following is the news release issued by General Electric on Monday announcing the appointment of John Flannery.

BOSTON – June 12, 2017 – GE (NYSE: GE) announced today that John Flannery, current President and CEO of GE Healthcare, has been named CEO of the company by the GE Board of Directors effective August 1, 2017 and Chairman and CEO effective January 1, 2018. Jeff Immelt, Chairman and CEO, will remain Chairman of the Board through his retirement from the company on December 31, 2017. In addition, Jeff Bornstein, current CFO, has also been promoted to Vice Chair of GE. Today’s leadership announcements are the result of a succession plan that has been run by the GE Board of Directors since 2011.

Jack Brennan, lead independent director for GE’s Board of Directors, said, “During this time of dynamic global markets and relentless focus on technology and operational excellence, there is no better person to lead GE than John Flannery. He brings unique experience and a strong skill set to the job. John has spent almost half of his career living outside of the United States and has led complex financial and industrial businesses all over the world, including running GE Healthcare, GE in India and the business development team for GE through the successful acquisition of Alstom. John has had a direct influence on the company’s direction, its financial health and its position as the world’s premier digital industrial company.”


Mr. Flannery, 55, began his career at GE Capital in 1987 where he focused on evaluating risk for leveraged buy-outs. In the 1990s, he was a leader in the corporate restructuring and workout group, where he was known for his negotiating skills and ability to improve companies’ operations. In 1997, he moved to Argentina where he successfully led GE’s Equity business in Latin America and the overall GE Capital business for Argentina and Chile.

In 2002, Mr. Flannery became the President and CEO of GE Equity and was asked to lead the business through a difficult cycle. In 2005, he moved to Asia where he was responsible for the Asia Pacific region for GE Capital, and while there, he grew earnings in Japan by 100 percent, in Korea by 30 percent and in Australia by 25 percent. In 2009, he moved to India to lead the country for GE. During his time in India, Mr. Flannery upgraded the leadership team, built the culture and focused on the industrial side of the business, where he increased industrial sales by 50 percent in 2011. In 2013, he was tapped to lead business development at GE Corporate where he focused on capital allocation for the company and led the acquisition of Alstom, the largest industrial acquisition in the company’s history. He also worked on shrinking GE Capital, the Synchrony Financial IPO, and the disposition of GE Appliances.

Since joining GE Healthcare in 2014, Mr. Flannery has led the turnaround of the business, increasing organic revenue by five percent and margins by 100 bps in 2016. He positioned GE Healthcare for continued success with technology leadership in core imaging, created digital platforms and solutions, expanded Life Sciences through bioprocess solutions, and added key technology to its cell therapy systems business. He also launched Sustainable Healthcare Solutions, which is focused on bringing disruptive technologies to healthcare providers across emerging markets.

Mr. Immelt said, “John is the right person to lead GE today. He has broad experience across multiple businesses, cycles and geographies. He has a track record of success and led one of our most essential businesses. Most important are his strong leadership traits – good judgment, resilience, a learner, team builder and a tough-minded individual and competitor. He will be trusted by investors, our customers and the GE team.”

Mr. Flannery said, “Today’s announcement is the greatest honor of my career. I am privileged to have spent the last 16 years at the company working for Jeff, one of the greatest business leaders of our time. He has transformed the GE portfolio, globalized the company and created a vision for the GE of the future by positioning the company to lead in digital and additive manufacturing. In the next few months, my focus will be on listening to investors, customers and employees to determine the next steps for GE.”


Mr. Immelt, 61, led the successful transformation of GE into a simpler, stronger and more focused digital industrial portfolio aligned to key markets – power, aviation, transportation, healthcare and oil gas. His long-term strategic vision and willingness to disrupt GE has been demonstrated by the bold portfolio moves the company has made in the last decade. GE has completed $260 billion of asset sales for GE Capital since 2015, acquired global energy leader Alstom, announced the combination of GE Oil Gas with Baker Hughes, and divested legacy businesses like GE Appliances, NBC Universal and Plastics.

During his tenure, Mr. Immelt re-established market leadership based on technological innovation, grew a strong share position in essential industries and built a backlog of $320 billion. He was the architect of the GE Store, leveraging GE’s unique scale to drive growth which contributed to global orders reaching $70 billion and services orders growing to more than $55 billion.

Mr. Immelt led GE through a portfolio transformation, the 9/11 tragedy, the power and pension bubbles, the financial crisis and oil price dynamics. GE nearly doubled its industrial profit during his tenure, and operating EPS was up approximately 50 percent. While CEO, GE returned $143 billion to investors in dividends, more than in the entire prior history of the company.

Mr. Immelt’s vision has positioned GE for the future and greatly strengthened the GE culture. Today, GE is a leader in the Industrial Internet and additive manufacturing, two of the most important innovations in the industrial world. GE is a top-ten brand, number seven on the Fortune World’s Most Admired Companies list and a top company for leaders.

Mr. Brennan added, “Jeff has positioned the company incredibly well for the future. He executed a massive portfolio transformation and navigated the company through economic cycles and business disruptions. Today, GE is a high-tech industrial company with a bright future. Jeff was a particularly adept steward of GE’s culture. He knows thousands of GE people all over the world and worked relentlessly to simplify the culture and unleash the GE entrepreneurial spirit. The plan for the GE CEO transition process was set in 2011. With the GE Capital pivot behind us and the company’s transition to Boston complete, this is the ideal time for change. The board is confident that in the years to come, GE investors and employees will benefit from Jeff’s hard work.”

Fake press release claims Wet n Wild had deadly amoeba, city and …

Posted by on 10:15 am in Press Release | 0 comments

Wet n Wild fake report

EL PASO, Texas – You may have seen this image making the round on social media claiming there was a deadly amoeba living in Wet n Wild, both the city and the park say there’s nothing to worry about

This official-looking image of a press release started circulating social media Saturday night, claiming someone had died from an amoeba caught at Wet n Wild, but when we showed up to ask the answer was curt.

“No, it was absolutely not real,” said Chandra Edwards-Cottingham, the general manager and a co-owner.

The city also responded to the use of their letterhead, saying, in part:

“This press release that attempts to appear as a message from the Department of Public Health is fake and is not an official message from the City of El Paso. There is no current health notice from the Department of Public Health on this type of topic.”

The water park itself was crowded Sunday, people still turning out, and the purification systems still running.

“If the chlorine levels and the pH levels are good, and you do do the very high levels of chlorination every once in a while, that keeps your water very clean and safe,” Edwards-Cottingham said.

Wet n WIld telling while they wouldn’t normally test for organisms, they would welcome a test if concerns were brought over, even if they say it would be difficult for microorganisms to survive in the park.

“The El Paso County Health Department is always welcome to come do tests of the water, of course…filtering it constantly and having a good turnover rate, that’s also important to filtering organisms like that out of the water,” said Edwards-Cottingham.

Now the city is also announcing and reminding the public unauthorized use of the city seal, letterheads, and other communication materials is not allowed.


Protestors Disrupt DC Pride Parade, Seek A ‘Different Vision’ For The Event

Posted by on 10:15 am in Press Release | 0 comments

Another protest participant, Emmelia Talarico, said in the press release, “Corporations that desecrate Native land, manufacture weapons and support private prisons ― and law enforcement agencies that proportionately harass, kill, and arrest queer and trans people of color ― cannot be considered LGBT ‘allies’ unless you believe that Black, Latinx, Muslim, and indigenous queer, trans and two spirit individuals aren’t actually part of the LGBT community.”

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